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The Number Two Review - Bad Film Reviews for the World's Worst Films

The Number Two Review

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The Number Two Review - Bad Film Reviews for the World's Worst Films
The Number Two Review - Bad Film Reviews for the World's Worst Films

The Number Two Review - Bad Film Reviews for the World's Worst Films

The Number Two Review

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Bad film reviews of terrible films

Latest Episodes

Day of the Warrior (1996)

EMalibu Bay Films released Day of the Warrior in 1996 sometime. Andy Sidaris directed the film starring Kevin Light, Cristian Letelier, and Julie Strain. ‘Day of the Warrior’ Movie Summary In the Day of the Warrior, an unknown enemy has once again breached poor L.E.T.H.A.L. Agency’s Headquarters. The thief manages to managed to break into their computer system, and tamper with classified documents about the Agency’s agents. The man behind this cyber attack is none other than a former CIA Agent named the “Warrior”. These days, he’s a powerful criminal/entrepreneur whose business dealings encompass pornography, smuggling, and the white slave trade. With the list of all the undercover agents’ identities in his dirty little hand, Commander Willow Black and her agents, Tiger and Cobra, must take out this villain and his evil underground network before it’s too late! Leave a Comment and Follow Us Please let us know what you think of the film in the comments section, and rate this ...

-1 s1 w ago
Comments
Day of the Warrior (1996)

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

EUniversal Pictures released Halloween III: Season of the Witch on October 22, 1982. Tommy Lee Wallace directed the film starring Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, and Dan O’Herlihy. ‘Halloween III: Season of the Witch’ Movie Summary Eight days before Halloween, Silver Shamrock’s Season of the Witch begins. Two men in suits chase Harry Grimbridge down a deserted Northern California road. After killing one of the suits, Grimbridge collapses at a nearby gas station—still clutching a jack-o’-lantern Halloween mask. At the hospital, Dr. Dan Challis, newly returned from his nightly trip to the bar, treats Harry. Challis sedates Grimbrdige because Silver Shamrock Halloween masks scare him. They are going to kill us all! When everyone is out of the room, the second-suited man mechanically strolls into Grimbridge’s room, kills him, and then strolls out. Once the suit returns to his car, he sets himself on fire. Dr. Challis, who chased after the man, watches the car explode into flames. Read ...

-1 s2 w ago
Comments
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

The Dallas Connection (1994)

EMalibu Bay Films released The Dallas Connection on September 2, 1994. Christian Drew Sidaris (as Drew Sidaris) wrote and directed the film starring Bruce Penhall, Mark Barriere, and Julie Strain. ‘The Dallas Connection’ Movie Summary Someone is assassinating esteemed scientists throughout the world before a major scientific convention in Dallas, Texas. All that is known is that the killings have something to do with the upcoming International World Arms Removal project. It’s a big, sophisticated, state-of-the-art satellite which can detect any weapon, big or small, under any weather condition. After scientist Antonio Morales fears he’s the next target, he asks for the Agency’s protection. Special Agent Samantha Maxx is up for the challenge, but can Ms. Maxx stop the Black Widow and her assassins? Read the full summary. Leave a Comment and Follow Us Please let us know what you think of the film in the comments section, and rate this movie from one to five stars below as well. If...

-1 sOCT 7
Comments
The Dallas Connection (1994)

Masters of the Universe (1987)

EThe Cannon Group released Masters of the Universe on August 7, 1987. Gary Goddard directed the film starring Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, and Meg Foster. ‘Masters of the Universe’ Movie Summary Masters of the Universe begins on the planet Eternia. Skeletor and his minions have launched a surprise attack on Castle Grayskull, and captured the Sorceress. All that remains between Skeletor and unlimited power is a shirtless blond beauty named He-Man. So, Skeletor has his army attack our hero along with his old pal, Man-at-Arms, and his feisty daughter, Teela. However, after the group takes refuge with a tiny locksmith/inventor named Gwildor they escape to the planet Earth. Before the main attack, Evil-Lyn tricked Gwildor into giving her a Cosmic Key to open a cosmic portal into the castle and take it. He-Man and company manages to bring a prototype of the Cosmic Key with them to Earth , but they lose it upon arrival. Meanwhile on Earth, Julie Winston, plans to leave her small town a...

-1 sSEP 28
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Masters of the Universe (1987)

Enemy Gold (1993)

EMalibu Bay Films released Enemy Gold in June 1993 or maybe June of 1994. They aren’t clear. Christian Drew Sidaris (as Drew Sidaris) wrote and directed the film starring Bruce Penhall, Mark Barriere, and Suzi Simpson. ‘Enemy Gold’ Movie Summary Enemy Gold begins during the United States Civil War in the Big Pines Forest of Texas. Two Confederate soldiers go behind enemy lines and steal some gold from the Yanks. They then head deep into the woods, and bury the gold at the base of a tree where it will remain hidden for more than a century. Thus beginning the legend of Quantrell’s gold. We cut to Dallas, Texas ca 1993. Chris Cannon, Mark Austin, and Becky Midnite are three Federal agents out on a mission to bust a drug the crime lord, Santiago, and his gang of thugs. However, when their mission at a farm in the middle of nowheresville ends, Federal agent Dixon shows up to suspend the team on a technicality because he hates them and their old boss, Agent Ava Noble. The three agents ...

-1 sSEP 7
Comments
Enemy Gold (1993)

Cabin Boy (1994)

EBuena Vista Pictures Distribution released Cabin Boy on January 7, 1994. Adam Resnick directed the film starring Chris Elliott, Ritch Brinkley, and James Gammon. ‘Cabin Boy’ Movie Summary Cabin Boy begins as Nathaniel Mayweather, the most arrogant, self-centered virgin you will ever meet, graduates finishing school. His father sends a limo driver to take him to the ship, the Queen Catherine, which will then sail to Hawaii where Nathaniel will work for his father. However, Nathaniel quickly pisses off that driver who then kicks him out of the limo; stranding Nathaniel in the middle of nowhere. So Nathaniel walks along the road in the direction his driver was going until he sees a sign for the Queen Catherine. Unfortunately for him, a cow is blocking the arrow which directs him down the correct road, and Nathaniel winds up going left instead of right. That takes him to a small fishing village where he runs into a ship’s very dumb, and easily distracted cabin boy, Kenny. Nathaniel i...

-1 sAUG 28
Comments
Cabin Boy (1994)

Fit to Kill (1993)

EMalibu Bay Films released Fit to Kill on October 27, 1993. Andy Sidaris wrote and directed the film starring Dona Speir, Roberta Vasquez, and Bruce Penhall. ‘Fit to Kill’ Movie Summary Fit to Kill begins in a waterfall in Hawaii. L.E.T.H.A.L. agents, Donna and Nicole, relax in a pool next to their guns. An alarm goes off, and the girls leave for cat and mouse paintball exercise outside of Las Vegas. They defeat Bruce and Shane three games to none. As the girls go one way, and the boys another, aA remote control chopper arrives. It attacks both teams, but misses. It was just another test from Lucas who then calls them in to berate them for not being on guard at all times. His boy, Dr Emerson, next tells the girls about this special helicopter being L.E.T.H.A.L.’s latest and greatest weapon. They all head back to KSXY radio in Hawaii for a meeting. Still in Vegas, Kane relaxes while Silk shows him everything she bought on a shopping trip. The killer, Blu Steele is there for some se...

-1 sAUG 7
Comments
Fit to Kill (1993)

Catwoman (2004)

EWarner Bros. released Catwoman on July 23, 2004. Pitof directed the film starring Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, and Benjamin Bratt. ‘Catwoman’ Movie Summary Catwoman – or should I say “the movie that took the title of a beloved comic and created its own litter box with the character” – is a film that Julie Newmar would roll over in her grave if she watched this POS, directed by a single-named director that nobody remembers because they walked out long before the credits rolled. The movie stars Oscar-winning actress, Halle Berry, in the role of Patience Phillips. That’s right. Not Selena Kile like the actual comic named her, but who really cares since it’s just Halle. Anyhoo, our original fairy tale story begins with put-upon-frumpy-because-she-wears-goodwill-sweatshirts-but-has-a-heart-of-gold-and-hidden-genius Cinderella…I mean Catwoman because-nobody-can-be-that-hot-and-not-be-a-supermodel-at-a-cosmetics-company. Halle works her tookus off on the new cosmetics line for her m...

-1 sJUL 28
Comments
Catwoman (2004)

Hard Hunted (1992)

EMalibu Bay Films released Hard Hunted in January 1992. Andy Sidaris wrote and directed the film starring Dona Speir, Roberta Vasquez, and Bruce Penhall. ‘Hard Hunted’ Movie Summary The international criminal known as Kane receives a jade statuette of Buddha in a Lotus Position while on his yacht in a channel between some Hawaiian islands. Mika and Silk are there to spy on Kane, and witness him take possession of it. The figurine is very important to his plan of world domination as inside its hallow chamber is a nuclear weapon trigger. We cut to Edy’s in Molokai where she does a cute song and dance for us before we switch to KSXY, where Ava is a DJ. She reads a secret message over the air to signal to Cole to surf out to Kane’s yacht, and pick up Mika. We then cut back to the aforementioned yacht where Kane schtoops Silk in her Lotus Position. Mika takes this opportunity to steal the Buddha while Kane’s distracted/sedated. Cole picks Mika up on his windsurf board, and the two dr...

-1 sJUL 7
Comments
Hard Hunted (1992)

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)

ETwentieth Century Fox released The Adventures of Ford Fairlane on July 11, 1990. Renny Harlin directed the film starring Andrew Dice Clay, Lauren Holly, and Wayne Newton. ‘The Adventures of Ford Fairlane’ Movie Summary Shock value comedian, actor, musician Andrew Dice Clay plays the all guns blazing character Ford Fairlane, known around the streets of LA as Rock & Roll Detective due to his specialty of working for high flying music industry clients. His longtime friend, a popular, loud mouth offensive radio announcer is killed, but not before asking Ford to check in on a job to find his daughter he never knew he had from a one night stand. It turns out the mother of the missing girl also contacts Ford to find her precious daughter. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Please let us know what you think of the film in the comments section, and rate this movie from one to five stars below as well. If there is a film you’d like us to review, send us an email at comments...

-1 sJUN 28
Comments
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)

Latest Episodes

Day of the Warrior (1996)

EMalibu Bay Films released Day of the Warrior in 1996 sometime. Andy Sidaris directed the film starring Kevin Light, Cristian Letelier, and Julie Strain. ‘Day of the Warrior’ Movie Summary In the Day of the Warrior, an unknown enemy has once again breached poor L.E.T.H.A.L. Agency’s Headquarters. The thief manages to managed to break into their computer system, and tamper with classified documents about the Agency’s agents. The man behind this cyber attack is none other than a former CIA Agent named the “Warrior”. These days, he’s a powerful criminal/entrepreneur whose business dealings encompass pornography, smuggling, and the white slave trade. With the list of all the undercover agents’ identities in his dirty little hand, Commander Willow Black and her agents, Tiger and Cobra, must take out this villain and his evil underground network before it’s too late! Leave a Comment and Follow Us Please let us know what you think of the film in the comments section, and rate this ...

-1 s1 w ago
Comments
Day of the Warrior (1996)

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

EUniversal Pictures released Halloween III: Season of the Witch on October 22, 1982. Tommy Lee Wallace directed the film starring Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, and Dan O’Herlihy. ‘Halloween III: Season of the Witch’ Movie Summary Eight days before Halloween, Silver Shamrock’s Season of the Witch begins. Two men in suits chase Harry Grimbridge down a deserted Northern California road. After killing one of the suits, Grimbridge collapses at a nearby gas station—still clutching a jack-o’-lantern Halloween mask. At the hospital, Dr. Dan Challis, newly returned from his nightly trip to the bar, treats Harry. Challis sedates Grimbrdige because Silver Shamrock Halloween masks scare him. They are going to kill us all! When everyone is out of the room, the second-suited man mechanically strolls into Grimbridge’s room, kills him, and then strolls out. Once the suit returns to his car, he sets himself on fire. Dr. Challis, who chased after the man, watches the car explode into flames. Read ...

-1 s2 w ago
Comments
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

The Dallas Connection (1994)

EMalibu Bay Films released The Dallas Connection on September 2, 1994. Christian Drew Sidaris (as Drew Sidaris) wrote and directed the film starring Bruce Penhall, Mark Barriere, and Julie Strain. ‘The Dallas Connection’ Movie Summary Someone is assassinating esteemed scientists throughout the world before a major scientific convention in Dallas, Texas. All that is known is that the killings have something to do with the upcoming International World Arms Removal project. It’s a big, sophisticated, state-of-the-art satellite which can detect any weapon, big or small, under any weather condition. After scientist Antonio Morales fears he’s the next target, he asks for the Agency’s protection. Special Agent Samantha Maxx is up for the challenge, but can Ms. Maxx stop the Black Widow and her assassins? Read the full summary. Leave a Comment and Follow Us Please let us know what you think of the film in the comments section, and rate this movie from one to five stars below as well. If...

-1 sOCT 7
Comments
The Dallas Connection (1994)

Masters of the Universe (1987)

EThe Cannon Group released Masters of the Universe on August 7, 1987. Gary Goddard directed the film starring Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, and Meg Foster. ‘Masters of the Universe’ Movie Summary Masters of the Universe begins on the planet Eternia. Skeletor and his minions have launched a surprise attack on Castle Grayskull, and captured the Sorceress. All that remains between Skeletor and unlimited power is a shirtless blond beauty named He-Man. So, Skeletor has his army attack our hero along with his old pal, Man-at-Arms, and his feisty daughter, Teela. However, after the group takes refuge with a tiny locksmith/inventor named Gwildor they escape to the planet Earth. Before the main attack, Evil-Lyn tricked Gwildor into giving her a Cosmic Key to open a cosmic portal into the castle and take it. He-Man and company manages to bring a prototype of the Cosmic Key with them to Earth , but they lose it upon arrival. Meanwhile on Earth, Julie Winston, plans to leave her small town a...

-1 sSEP 28
Comments
Masters of the Universe (1987)

Enemy Gold (1993)

EMalibu Bay Films released Enemy Gold in June 1993 or maybe June of 1994. They aren’t clear. Christian Drew Sidaris (as Drew Sidaris) wrote and directed the film starring Bruce Penhall, Mark Barriere, and Suzi Simpson. ‘Enemy Gold’ Movie Summary Enemy Gold begins during the United States Civil War in the Big Pines Forest of Texas. Two Confederate soldiers go behind enemy lines and steal some gold from the Yanks. They then head deep into the woods, and bury the gold at the base of a tree where it will remain hidden for more than a century. Thus beginning the legend of Quantrell’s gold. We cut to Dallas, Texas ca 1993. Chris Cannon, Mark Austin, and Becky Midnite are three Federal agents out on a mission to bust a drug the crime lord, Santiago, and his gang of thugs. However, when their mission at a farm in the middle of nowheresville ends, Federal agent Dixon shows up to suspend the team on a technicality because he hates them and their old boss, Agent Ava Noble. The three agents ...

-1 sSEP 7
Comments
Enemy Gold (1993)

Cabin Boy (1994)

EBuena Vista Pictures Distribution released Cabin Boy on January 7, 1994. Adam Resnick directed the film starring Chris Elliott, Ritch Brinkley, and James Gammon. ‘Cabin Boy’ Movie Summary Cabin Boy begins as Nathaniel Mayweather, the most arrogant, self-centered virgin you will ever meet, graduates finishing school. His father sends a limo driver to take him to the ship, the Queen Catherine, which will then sail to Hawaii where Nathaniel will work for his father. However, Nathaniel quickly pisses off that driver who then kicks him out of the limo; stranding Nathaniel in the middle of nowhere. So Nathaniel walks along the road in the direction his driver was going until he sees a sign for the Queen Catherine. Unfortunately for him, a cow is blocking the arrow which directs him down the correct road, and Nathaniel winds up going left instead of right. That takes him to a small fishing village where he runs into a ship’s very dumb, and easily distracted cabin boy, Kenny. Nathaniel i...

-1 sAUG 28
Comments
Cabin Boy (1994)

Fit to Kill (1993)

EMalibu Bay Films released Fit to Kill on October 27, 1993. Andy Sidaris wrote and directed the film starring Dona Speir, Roberta Vasquez, and Bruce Penhall. ‘Fit to Kill’ Movie Summary Fit to Kill begins in a waterfall in Hawaii. L.E.T.H.A.L. agents, Donna and Nicole, relax in a pool next to their guns. An alarm goes off, and the girls leave for cat and mouse paintball exercise outside of Las Vegas. They defeat Bruce and Shane three games to none. As the girls go one way, and the boys another, aA remote control chopper arrives. It attacks both teams, but misses. It was just another test from Lucas who then calls them in to berate them for not being on guard at all times. His boy, Dr Emerson, next tells the girls about this special helicopter being L.E.T.H.A.L.’s latest and greatest weapon. They all head back to KSXY radio in Hawaii for a meeting. Still in Vegas, Kane relaxes while Silk shows him everything she bought on a shopping trip. The killer, Blu Steele is there for some se...

-1 sAUG 7
Comments
Fit to Kill (1993)

Catwoman (2004)

EWarner Bros. released Catwoman on July 23, 2004. Pitof directed the film starring Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, and Benjamin Bratt. ‘Catwoman’ Movie Summary Catwoman – or should I say “the movie that took the title of a beloved comic and created its own litter box with the character” – is a film that Julie Newmar would roll over in her grave if she watched this POS, directed by a single-named director that nobody remembers because they walked out long before the credits rolled. The movie stars Oscar-winning actress, Halle Berry, in the role of Patience Phillips. That’s right. Not Selena Kile like the actual comic named her, but who really cares since it’s just Halle. Anyhoo, our original fairy tale story begins with put-upon-frumpy-because-she-wears-goodwill-sweatshirts-but-has-a-heart-of-gold-and-hidden-genius Cinderella…I mean Catwoman because-nobody-can-be-that-hot-and-not-be-a-supermodel-at-a-cosmetics-company. Halle works her tookus off on the new cosmetics line for her m...

-1 sJUL 28
Comments
Catwoman (2004)

Hard Hunted (1992)

EMalibu Bay Films released Hard Hunted in January 1992. Andy Sidaris wrote and directed the film starring Dona Speir, Roberta Vasquez, and Bruce Penhall. ‘Hard Hunted’ Movie Summary The international criminal known as Kane receives a jade statuette of Buddha in a Lotus Position while on his yacht in a channel between some Hawaiian islands. Mika and Silk are there to spy on Kane, and witness him take possession of it. The figurine is very important to his plan of world domination as inside its hallow chamber is a nuclear weapon trigger. We cut to Edy’s in Molokai where she does a cute song and dance for us before we switch to KSXY, where Ava is a DJ. She reads a secret message over the air to signal to Cole to surf out to Kane’s yacht, and pick up Mika. We then cut back to the aforementioned yacht where Kane schtoops Silk in her Lotus Position. Mika takes this opportunity to steal the Buddha while Kane’s distracted/sedated. Cole picks Mika up on his windsurf board, and the two dr...

-1 sJUL 7
Comments
Hard Hunted (1992)

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)

ETwentieth Century Fox released The Adventures of Ford Fairlane on July 11, 1990. Renny Harlin directed the film starring Andrew Dice Clay, Lauren Holly, and Wayne Newton. ‘The Adventures of Ford Fairlane’ Movie Summary Shock value comedian, actor, musician Andrew Dice Clay plays the all guns blazing character Ford Fairlane, known around the streets of LA as Rock & Roll Detective due to his specialty of working for high flying music industry clients. His longtime friend, a popular, loud mouth offensive radio announcer is killed, but not before asking Ford to check in on a job to find his daughter he never knew he had from a one night stand. It turns out the mother of the missing girl also contacts Ford to find her precious daughter. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Please let us know what you think of the film in the comments section, and rate this movie from one to five stars below as well. If there is a film you’d like us to review, send us an email at comments...

-1 sJUN 28
Comments
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)
hmly
himalayaプレミアムへようこそ聴き放題のオーディオブックをお楽しみください。